Posts by Gulf Coaster

43

Advice Needed - JW Grandparents

by What Now? in

my family has been out (inactive no meeting attendance or field service) for just over two years..

weve made many changes in our lives, including with our personal appearances (tattoos, piercings etc) that are a pretty obvious sign that we arent going back any time soon.

our families went through a period of time about a year ago when they made a lot of threats that if we left the truth, they wouldnt even be able to share a meal with us, they would stay loyal to jehovah etc.

Gulf Coaster

Great advice, TheListener. It must be hard to be in your situation and I can understand your worry that your kids might turn into JW bots. That would definitely be a concern for me and I know I was lucky to have my husband firmly on my side (he never was a JW and has no time for them whatsoever).

It's good that you are telling your kids of the consequences and reality of being a JW, i.e., the normal fun things that were denied to you, and your regrets and sacrifices, rather than them getting only the glossy version of how "wonderful" JW life is supposed to be. They're luckier than kids with both JW parents in that they have a real life example of the non-JW world. How do they manage to put up with going to the DC and assemblies though? They must be bored out of their minds! Poor things.

43

Advice Needed - JW Grandparents

by What Now? in

my family has been out (inactive no meeting attendance or field service) for just over two years..

weve made many changes in our lives, including with our personal appearances (tattoos, piercings etc) that are a pretty obvious sign that we arent going back any time soon.

our families went through a period of time about a year ago when they made a lot of threats that if we left the truth, they wouldnt even be able to share a meal with us, they would stay loyal to jehovah etc.

Gulf Coaster

It's not really a "normal" relationship when your relatives are proselytizing to your kids. It's not as if they're reading harmless bible stories to them with nice messages behind them, like fairy tales. No, they're filling their heads with typical JW judgmentalism, intolerance and fear. I wouldn't stand for any babysitter, relative or not, preaching any religion or telling my kids to judge me or criticize what I do or don't do. That's just not on.

Years ago, after I'd been out of that cult for 8 or so years, happily married with 2 kids, living a wonderful cult-free life, my JW mother suddenly decided to stop shunning me. Probably due to the grandkids so I thought why not? It didn't take long before she sweetly suggested my kids needed religion in their lives. I practically exploded. It was absolutely NOT okay to have my kids be exposed to that cult's hateful dogma. I pictured exactly what you just posted - my kids' heads being filled with intolerant crap that made my husband and I look poorly and made my kids' view themselves and our family life with disapproval and guilt.

We didn't have a "village" when we raised our kids. It was hard but I'd rather not go out on dates than risk my children being brainwashed and turned against their own parents or made to feel guilty and less than adequate.

What I did was I very clearly, very firmly told my mother to not ever mention anything about her god or she would not be welcome in our house. It was harsh but I knew I had to be that way with her. If I was wishy-washy about it, she wouldn't have respected my stance.

They don't need to get mixed messages and feel bad about the everyday fun things us free people do and enjoy. What happens when Christmas comes around and they're all happy and excited about it? They don't need interfering relatives killing their joy and making it look like you're doing something wrong by celebrating it.

If I were you, I'd tell your rellies to back off with the religion. After all, if anything makes you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to put up with it, they're your kids.

47

What are you up to this summer?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

i really enjoy hearing about other people's lives.

feeling a little lonely this evening so please tell me if you have plans for the summer months.

i may go to some outdoor theatre with my daughter who's home from uni; with a picnic and a bottle of wine.

Gulf Coaster

Some minor surgery early next month. A couple of weeks recovery. Then when I get the all clear, a road trip north from Florida to Montreal to visit hubby's rellies up there and enjoy some great Quebec food. On the way back, we will go via Maine where I've never been and get me some lobster! Further south, we'll stop off at a few barbecue meccas and get us some good 'Q'. I love road trips. The freedom, the flexibility, the view along the way.

12

My trip to the landfill

by hoser in

jw
friends

it was with great pleasure and with mrs hosers blessing that i took all of our bound volumes and other obsolete jehovah's witness books to the local landfill.

i threw them into the garbage pile and watched as a crawler tractor drove over them to pack them down.

Gulf Coaster

No worries, Phizzy. After 58 years, you can be forgiven a little environmental mischief if it gave you satisfaction.

12

My trip to the landfill

by hoser in

jw
friends

it was with great pleasure and with mrs hosers blessing that i took all of our bound volumes and other obsolete jehovah's witness books to the local landfill.

i threw them into the garbage pile and watched as a crawler tractor drove over them to pack them down.

Gulf Coaster

I was spared that task by walking out of my mother's house and bidding that nightmarish existence goodbye, not taking a single piece of propaganda with me. If I did have any, I'd be tempted to put it in a pile, douse it with lighter fluid, strike a match and happily watch it burn. But then that's not nice to the environment, so the recycle bin is where it would go. I'd hate for anybody at the recycle plant to see any of that propaganda and take it home out of curiosity so I'd tear up anything I could with my bare hands first. I think that would feel very therapeutic.

128

Looking Back In Retrospect To 1975...

by titch in

greetings, folks: so, it's been 40 years since 1975. and, if you were actively involved with the witnesses back then, the mindset of many was, that by early autumn of 1975, it would mark the anniversary of 6000 years of human existence.

and, the hope was then, that it would mark the start of the 1000-year of christ, from the heavenly realm.

but, looking back now, 40 years ago, in june of 1975, only 3 more months remained until early autumn.

Gulf Coaster

"So, looking back in retrospect, do you remember anything---ANYTHING at all---that was happening on the world scene, that you would have thought, "Yeah, this is it, the Great Tribulation will soon be here, and the start of Armageddon"? Can you recall anything at all that would have caused you to think that?"

Yes! The friggin' cult caused me think like that. It wasn't any "mindset" or perception or rumour or any other BS that they claimed after when their prediction didn't come true. It came from the top. It was pronounced by elders and the ilk higher up, repeatedly at the KH and at conventions. That I do remember clearly, I'm not buying any of the denial. They're lying through their teeth. Many JWs back then were fearful yet excited. Some were just excited and happy, awaiting with glee the slaughter of millions of people (pretty sick, if you ask me).

I remember being fearful and fear is not something you easily forget. I remember being fearful for my dad since he had decided being a JW wasn't his thing but he was okay with my mother following her new religion if it made her happy. I was 14, so I wasn't too young to remember.

44

How do you manage to keep JW friendships after you left the organization?

by Bonsai in

jw
friends

it seems incredibly difficult.

those who leave the org.

(or fade) no longer have anything in common with jehovah's witnesses, nor do they want to stick around to get radiated by the fear and guilt that saturates every aspect of a witnesses' life.. i've lost all but one of my jw friends quite simply because i can no longer condone the evil things that they condone.

Gulf Coaster

I can't see how you could keep JW friends after you leave. It's a conditional "friendship" based on adhering to the cult. What could you talk about with a faithful JW, other than idle chitchat? And how could you be friends with someone who views you as "worldly", in all that word's negative connotations? Someone who is basically viewing you as beneath them, and not one of the pure and favored? Someone who will be destroyed in the Big A with the JWs smugly cheering that on?

They're not really friends anyway. They're people who happen to be in the KH and that you chum around with because you have no other choice because if you didn't chum around with them, you'd be a friendless loner. And if you say or do the wrong thing, you'll be a friendless loner within the KH.

8

"Gerson Therapy" in Tijuana, Mexico

by OrphanCrow in

since at least back to the 1960s in canada, jws have been travelling to mexico for cancer treatment.

and, i believe, other medical treatments.

because i watched my uncle die of cancer back in 1962, unable to receive treatment because the doctors couldn't operate without blood, i have always been curious as to why the jws with cancer were going to mexico.

Gulf Coaster

I can't understand how squirting coffee up your butt does anything. Why not drink it? Gerson also wants you to stand around all day making juice out of pounds and pounds of organic fruit and veg. Why not just eat the stuff at meal time? It makes no sense but desperate people will do desperate things. And get their life-savings drained, then dying anyway.

Problem is there is no one cancer. There are many cancers that require different treatments. They've made a lot of headway for cancers like childhood leukemia and breast cancer but for many cancers there's still way more research needed. And some cancers are just plain incurable, for now. Yes, chemo and radiation are awful and oftentimes don't work wonders but paying scamsters tens of thousands for unproven "treatments" where most everybody dies, makes no sense at all. The ones who survive, if you dig deep enough, have had surgery and chemo/radiation, but they tout the "alternative" treatment as being the reason for their success. Because it gives them a sense of empowerment, like they cured themselves versus helplessly depending on the cold hand of the medical establishment.

People are free to choose whatever they want for their medical treatment. Me, I'll go with the regular medical world. They don't promise 100% because they realistically, truthfully can't make that promise. Cancer sucks that way. The scamsters will promise wonders and guaranteed cures, which for me is a warning sign. Then if it doesn't work and you die, they blame you for not following their protocols 1000%, or for stuffing up something along the way, or maybe not believing enough. It's never them, it's all your fault. Another warning sign.

15

Life after JW

by bsand20 in

haven't been on this site since fall of last year.

i was very active in spreading awareness and getting information to help me cope with the fact that my mother cut off complete communication with me as of jan 2014, but i guess too much of a good thing was too much for me to handle.

i ended up getting panic/anxiety attacks.

Gulf Coaster

dubstepped, that's what stopped me from trying meditation before: the idea that my mind would be way too busy to empty itself and meditate. But that's not what's expected after all. I had that wrong. The meditation program I use tells you to not feel bad or guilty if you find your mind wandering off while trying to meditate. Rather, just acknowledge that thought and come right back to the breath, no matter how many times it happens. That was a large part of the success for me. I could relax once I got that mistaken idea out of my head.

Meditation has been used in a lot of medical centres for years to help patients deal with the pain and stress while undergoing treatment for illnesses. It's not that mystical, woo-woo stuff anymore. It's quite mainstream.

15

Life after JW

by bsand20 in

haven't been on this site since fall of last year.

i was very active in spreading awareness and getting information to help me cope with the fact that my mother cut off complete communication with me as of jan 2014, but i guess too much of a good thing was too much for me to handle.

i ended up getting panic/anxiety attacks.

Gulf Coaster

I second LisaRose re meditation.

Last year I developed a medical condition that's not all that big a deal but due to anxiety I managed to blow it completely out of proportion. I lost my appetite and literally couldn't swallow my food most days, dropping 30lbs in 6 weeks. I looked close to anorexic, not a healthy weight for me at all. Even my doctor thought it might be cancer so I had a PET scan along with 8 other tests.

Long story short, the condition is now manageable after taking up Mindfulness Meditation. I bought CDs by Jon Kabat-Zinn, ripped them to my MP3 player and every afternoon, I meditate. My favorite is the Body Scan Meditation. His voice alone is so soothing. I have to admit I was doubtful at first but I really needed something at the time and didn't want to go the medication route. It might not be for everybody but it can't hurt to try as it might work for you, as it did me and quite a few other people I know.

All the best.